On a quiet day, a special thing I love to do is to go online, on the Darling magazine website and get lost in all it's beautiful articles. It is such a strong magazine, empowering women and dealing head on with those issues that are actually existent in our world. The articles written in other magazines are so clique, and so vague you can hardly get down to any issue, however with Darling, it actually shows a lot of the vulnerable side that others are not willing to go.
One article that caught my eye, called "An invitation to open doors", it really hit home on having an open mind, heart and physical door to those around us, and asking us why as this generation we live in, of why we are so closed off towards others. We are living in a age, where 'I love you' is much easier in a text or over Facebook than it is face to face. In other words, we have a world that is focused on themselves and the social media that goes along with it.
Now, I'm slightly going off the road with this topic, as I wanted to share about vulnerability, and all that comes along with it.
Something I had learnt as a wife, a friend, a sister and a daughter is that to be open and for others to feel like that really know you, vulnerability is necessary to those relationships. I'm not saying that you have to spill out your whole life story and all its events to each and everyone of them, because thats rather draining to you and to them, especially.
It's about those times when you can share something from your heart that could help them, or open yourself up more to them, to deepen that relationship. As you agree to having better relationships overall, you need to learn the art of vulnerability, and to continue to always say yes, to healthy relationships.
Recently I had a situation, where I found a good friend start putting me in my place, telling me who I was, who I wasn't and where I wasn't needed. In this moment I kept quiet and just took it, knowing i'd deal with it later, when all emotions were not on a high.
To be honest, I have a tendency of shutting people or things out if I feel intimidated or threatened by them, however I consciously make a decision of being open and careful of how I feel so I know I'm not working out of some nasty emotion. I do this daily to stop this from ruling my life. You could tell from those things being said to me, that I could have shut her out and be done with her, however I LOVE knowing that people always have a story to tell, above all the hurt that they may be saying. Hurt people, hurt people. Its inevitable, and I believe she had no real intention with those words that she said. As she had later opened up to me saying she was sorry, this only happened because I took a moment to love her, and try be open with her, instead of shutting her out, like my old self wanted.
I felt like I had to the vulnerable one in this situation, that the reasons why she was telling me these things were because she was going through a new season and a few things were scaring her in life. I happened to be in the way, where I could be an easy target. I could have easily got all defensive and began telling others about what she had said. However a quiet voice inside was telling me, to know all the truth. I found myself that day of the situation, becoming a person I wanted to be, a bigger person, someone who really listens and takes control of my emotions in the moment.
To be vulnerable, it can mean, having to give up being right, to be the lower one, to be the one to talk first or simply start a conversation. By all means, being vulnerable and open, can hurt and knowing it could possibly not work out is scary. But at least you know you tried, and gave your true self to those around you who really deserve it.
Vulnerability takes courage and it takes you from being shielded by your own self, to being open to those around you. By all means, please don't take this for being open with EVERYONE. There are some people that you really have to use your initiative and common sense in not sharing your life with. Thats a whole new topic, knowing who to really share your life with and having healthy relationships, based on positive common ground, instead of having a friendship thats based around gossip because you have similar hurts.
It all starts with you, if you're willing to become more closer with your real friends and family, then you've got to start taking the reigns of your life and make changes.
xx
