Living the life of....

I read an blog recently which literally made me think of all the reasons why I use social media and why I post the things I post. It showed four photos of a couple, smiling and posing, at different times. To me, they seemed happy and living their lives to the fullest, however under each photo the lady described what exactly happened previous to the photo being taken.

Now what I was shocked by, was that this was all too familiar, let me explain. So the comments she had made were "you don't know this, but before this photo was taken, my husband and I had a huge argument in the car all the way to the restaurant, and now we are posing for this photo to show everyone it's our wedding anniversary, no one knew we just were fighting, and of course we hash tagged it up, with something like #blessed". All the comments identified something that struck me to think of all the times I had posted a photo on Facebook or Instagram to that had me doing a selfie or was with my husband, however previous to taking the photo I was having a horrible day, emotionally I was a wreck or I felt defeated, thats honesty right there guys.

On the day of my engagement, I was a living mess, it was the week before my period, and as I'm getting older, my emotions alongside this monthly blessing is getting harder and stronger to maintain. Overall I was a crying mess and needed to calm down. Now I had taken the day off with Josh and we were just having a day hanging out, and I didn't know I was about to say the big YES to him, not knowing the whole day he had the ring in his pocket... He stuck it out with me and found at the end of the day, he could ask me when I was in a better state, and after that I was all in excitement mode. And I was very happy to pose with my new fiancé and my new bling.
Bet you didn't expect to know all that previously, and that photos tell a huge lie of what people are really going through. This is where the danger of comparison can destroy you and your life.

The only reason why I can write about this is because, it is a continuos journey to overcome comparison and jealousy. This is something that hinders so many girls and women around the world today. Someone once told me that Comparison is the theft of JOY. So true, the times when you could be enjoying other women company and building each other up, we instead are tearing down, ignoring each other and commenting in conniving in different ways.

Something I've come to understand as a newly wed, is that having harmony and true joy in your life, it requires sacrifice, intentional kind words and actions, and also patience. I guess I had a lot of advice before I got married, but a lot of the things you have to learn along the way. In learning these things, it's made me realise that this same way of living is needed for people in my life, whether its people I know or just met. People require grace and they deserve kindness overall, I guess this blog post is an overall thought that I've had, that looks at comparison, social media and how we live our lives.

To give out, we must first know we are loved, that we have hope and that we can make a difference, I full heartedly know that without knowing those things for myself, how the heck can I give love, grace and compassion out to those who need, when I can't even love myself. Its not a battle between who I love first, myself or others, its a balance knowing to receive I must give, vice versa.

Enjoy xx

WEDDING WEDNESDAY : Do what works for you.

Something different for the week. It's not a "Where to buy...or how to" guide a wedding.
This little post is focused on what you decide as the couple for the wedding and to follow through with that.

What do I mean by all this, Here's three points to explain.

1 // The wedding day is YOUR day, you and your future husbands, and no one can hinder that day, but only if you allow it. Josh and I sat down many times figuring out what we wanted, and the look and feel of the whole day. We wanted our guests to feel included and to have the best day alongside us. We didn't want a huge wedding, or a big ceremony, so we only included in the ceremony what we felt was applicable to us. I've honestly been to so many weddings lately, thats all the same, two church songs, brooke fraser songs used, straws in milk bottles and photo booths.

We cut it right down, we knew our vows were important, we both wanted a beautiful entrance, haha so my husband and his 6 groomsmen danced down the aisle to Bruno Mars song 'Uptown funk', best entrance ever! We had a prayer from both our parents and a little message from our pastor whom we both had a lot to with. We loved every minute. It was just US.

2 // We knew that money was being passed to us for our wedding, and we decided to ask the people giving it to us, what they saw us doing with it particularly. And we honoured them through that, and with a lot of many thanks.

3 // We only wanted a reception of 50 people, and flip that was very hard to cut down. We spent hours on the tables and number, but on the day we LOVED how it came together and the people we wanted there was perfect. We had so many people comment on how relax and fun the reception was, and how intimate and personal it really was, it just wasn't a room full of people who 'had' to be there.

Overall, have fun in the process, do what works for you and your budget and remember it's gonna be the best day ever, and it will go SO FAST.

Happy Wednesday xx

(Photo credit - Catherine Ruth)

CAFE Review : Warning, Coffee addict at work


Last week while waiting for my Husband to have his haircut, I walked past the most cutest coffee shop, in Ahuriri, Napier! OMG! I felt like I had walked into an original Wellington coffee house. It had the originality of Wellington, and the swag of downtown coffee capital. 

When I ordered my usual (the TFW), the guy serving was like "uh we don't serve trim here"...and I was like "Uh I don't care, give me a taste of your goodness".... and I'll review you thank you very much...

Anyways, it took like 10 minutes to get all the coffees done, and while I was waiting, he continued to serve others, the locals you could tell by them saying 'the usual, please'. Sorry about it..
Once I had my coffee, that first sip seriously took me back to living it large in the capital, alongside the unique coffee hubs. 

To say I would come back is a definite, the coffee was on form, service was okay, but the cute little signs and croissants had won my heart. 

Coffee used: Firsthand coffee
Milk used: Origin Earth milk (Organic of course) 
there is also a selection of Ya Bon breads and pastries and All Good Organics sodas.

Overall, I guess I'm excited to continue to try out new places and check out the latest coffee places, I'm all for feeling like I'm back home amongst coffee roasters and cafes galore. 

WEDDING WEDNESDAY : Bridesmaids Dresses

Welcome to the long awaited WEDDING WEDNESDAY! 

Todays post is about, my beautiful Bridesmaid dresses. The reason why I wanted to write about this, was because I wanted to share how I found my dream bridesmaid dresses for such a LOW price! 

I'd been searching for hours online for bridesmaid dresses that suited everyones shapes, and I came to an end, where I found a perfect dress that matched what I wanted, however the price was a bit off putting. The brand, Two birds were the top brand for the particular dress called the 'Infinity dress' which can be wrapped in over 15 different ways. 

So I decided to do some of my own research and I found through the trusty website, that they had some incredible China direct suppliers that made the exact same dress however without the hefty price. The 'two birds' dresses are around $250 a pop, however I went through every supplier on the Etsy website and went with the shop that had the most top reviews and quickest shipment. In the end we ended up paying $65 per dress, and went for three different shades of pink, which in the end was such a different look, was great! 

We went with the three top left colours, and each of them suited all the girls, who had spray tans as well. 

I simply loved how I could give freedom to my bridesmaids to create a style that suited them and their bodies, so they too could feel beautiful on the day. I didn't at all want to make them wear all the same dress, I found it rather tacky, as I wanted them to have the best day, feeling as best as they could in their own dress style. 

I just love how the ties on the dress were super flexible and able to create any style, Keren one of my bridesmaid's dress was awesome, the back of it was so simple yet eye catching. The girls all loved their dresses and all felt so elegant in them. 

Against my own dress, I loved how the colours all matched, we had a colour scheme of blush pink, green, gold, grey and black. Which tied in with the whole wedding and reception. Because the dresses were full length, I got the girls to wear whatever shoes they wanted, so then again they felt comfortable for the day. 

I can not recommend enough, the website, as the suppliers on there are so trust worthy, and the shipping was super fast, only took two weeks total for all 6 dresses to come through, and with the price of $65 per dress, really we saved so much!! We were looking into Forever new dresses, however those dresses started out with $150 per dress, and when you have 6 dresses to thank you! 

Well, there you have it, always do your own research, screw having to pay heaps of money for dresses and accessories when you can find the same thing online but cheaper, but make sure you know where you're buying it from. Ask around and be sensible when shopping online, read the reviews from other buyers and know how much your shipping is, before you buy. Luckily we got free shipping included and a 10% discount with the bulk buy of 6 dresses. 

I love my girls very much, and I'm so happy we found dresses that suited all of them, and made them feel stunning on the day too. 

(Photo credit, Catherine Ruthless)

Happy Wednesday lovelies xx

Lack of attention... for the beauty of attention

Hello everyone.

Yes it's been over TWO weeks since I've posted anything. But I decided I needed a break from it all, social media, well come of it, to give my attention to much needed other things. I found that I was lagging in my attention span to important things and so I decided to give priority to what was important for me.

I've got a couple of posts about to be published anytime over the weekend, one for the Wedding section, and another amazing cafe/coffee review. Listen up for what will happen soon.

Hope you're all doing well. You'll hear from me this weekend.

Ciao x

The art of vulnerability.

On a quiet day, a special thing I love to do is to go online, on the Darling magazine website and get lost in all it's beautiful articles. It is such a strong magazine, empowering women and dealing head on with those issues that are actually existent in our world. The articles written in other magazines are so clique, and so vague you can hardly get down to any issue, however with Darling, it actually shows a lot of the vulnerable side that others are not willing to go. 

One article that caught my eye, called "An invitation to open doors", it really hit home on having an open mind, heart and physical door to those around us, and asking us why as this generation we live in, of why we are so closed off towards others. We are living in a age, where 'I love you' is much easier in a text or over Facebook than it is face to face. In other words, we have a world that is focused on themselves and the social media that goes along with it. 

Now, I'm slightly going off the road with this topic, as I wanted to share about vulnerability, and all that comes along with it. 

Something I had learnt as a wife, a friend, a sister and a daughter is that to be open and for others to feel like that really know you, vulnerability is necessary to those relationships. I'm not saying that you have to spill out your whole life story and all its events to each and everyone of them, because thats rather draining to you and to them, especially. 
It's about those times when you can share something from your heart that could help them, or open yourself up more to them, to deepen that relationship. As you agree to having better relationships overall, you need to learn the art of vulnerability, and to continue to always say yes, to healthy relationships. 

Recently I had a situation, where I found a good friend start putting me in my place, telling me who I was, who I wasn't and where I wasn't needed. In this moment I kept quiet and just took it, knowing i'd deal with it later, when all emotions were not on a high. 

To be honest, I have a tendency of shutting people or things out if I feel intimidated or threatened by them, however I consciously make a decision of being open and careful of how I feel so I know I'm not working out of some nasty emotion. I do this daily to stop this from ruling my life. You could tell from those things being said to me, that I could have shut her out and be done with her, however I LOVE knowing that people always have a story to tell, above all the hurt that they may be saying. Hurt people, hurt people. Its inevitable, and I believe she had no real intention with those words that she said.  As she had later opened up to me saying she was sorry, this only happened because I took a moment to love her, and try be open with her, instead of shutting her out, like my old self wanted. 

I felt like I had to the vulnerable one in this situation, that the reasons why she was telling me these things were because she was going through a new season and a few things were scaring her in life. I happened to be in the way, where I could be an easy target. I could have easily got all defensive and began telling others about what she had said. However a quiet voice inside was telling me, to know all the truth. I found myself that day of the situation, becoming a person I wanted to be, a bigger person, someone who really listens and takes control of my emotions in the moment.

To be vulnerable, it can mean, having to give up being right, to be the lower one, to be the one to talk first or simply start a conversation. By all means, being vulnerable and open, can hurt and knowing it could possibly not work out is scary. But at least you know you tried, and gave your true self to those around you who really deserve it.

Vulnerability takes courage and it takes you from being shielded by your own self, to being open to those around you. By all means, please don't take this for being open with EVERYONE. There are some people that you really have to use your initiative and common sense in not sharing your life with. Thats a whole new topic, knowing who to really share your life with and having healthy relationships, based on positive common ground, instead of having a friendship thats based around gossip because you have similar hurts. 

It all starts with you, if you're willing to become more closer with your real friends and family, then you've got to start taking the reigns of your life and make changes. 


WEDDING WEDNESDAY : How to pick your music well

Happy Wednesday! Todays post is rather special to us, because it links in within our engagement and happy times together. I'll be sharing how we picked the important songs for the wedding and how you can also decide for the day, and links that could help if you're not really a music type of person.

To start this post off, Josh and I were sitting in his lounge room one afternoon when the new Ed Sherin song 'Thinking out loud', came on for the first time.  We both looked at each other after a few lines of the songs, and we just knew....weirdly enough, it was 'our song'. Yes we are that romantic type, having our little songs and sayings for each other. Don't judge.

Anyways, every time we heard it, we blasted it and sung it to each other in the car or lounge room.
One particular day, it was my birthday and Joshua had the day off with me, we chilled out and went for a walk to our favourite little spot. This spot had a beautiful wharf, and at the time the sun was setting. We eventually made it to the end of the wharf after some time of chatting, taking photos, to which he wanted me to sit with him on the bench. He started saying all this beautiful stuff to me, you know, all that romantic stuff....anyways, he then asked if I wanted to dance with him...he popped our song on and we together danced at the end of the wharf. After a few minutes, he then dropped to his knee and asked me to marry him....YES!

That was our song, and we used it for our first dance, we created a little routine for it, but when we actually did it, we just free styled it, and made it more fun. That song, 'thinking out loud' was perfect for the first dance and everyone loved joining in, with their partners afterwards.

For the Processional song, I've been to soooooo many weddings where all I ever hear is Brooke Fraser, and don't get me wrong, her music is lovely, it's just so over done now. I wanted a piece that no one had ever heard, it was original and something that would make everyone cry, haha. 

Good old Spotify helped me picked the one song, and I found it through stumbling the browse section, after I heard this duet couple, JonnySwim, I knew they had to be it. I trawled through all their songs, and eventually found the song!!! Its stunning and every word fitted perfectly, for the love that Josh and I have. 

Heres some of the lyrics

We don’t need calligraphy
To write a fancy story
Kings and Queens return to thieves
To find what we’ve been holding
You and Me
We can take the world.

Oh sweethearts give sweet compliments
But our love goes without saying
Though you make it hard not to spill my heart
Every time I see you swaying
Darling You and Me
We can take the world. Darling...

Cause they can write stories
They can sing songs
But they don’t make fairy tales 
Sweeter than ours
They can climb mountains
High into the sky
But they can’t take the world
Oh…Like we can take the world

Oh I can see 
The future you and me we last forever
In the rising tide
No fear or fight
That we can’t face together
Darling You and Me
We can take the world

When picking a song, for when you walk down the aisle, remember it's the one song that you'll remember for the rest of your lives. Every time we heard it come on our shuffle playlist, we always stop and smile, and I'll try hold back a joyful tear.

Spotify can help so much, with making playlists, finding original songs and it's easy to have on your phones and iPads for the time of the wedding, we upgraded to Premium for that amount of time of the wedding.

Last but not least, this is a different take on for the Groom and his groomsmen. 

My Husband wanted his 'walk in' song and moment, and I said, "well why not, our wedding is suppose to be full of fun and laughter". I trusted whatever he wanted to do, everyone would appreciate it and love it.

He choose Bruno Mars newest song, 'Uptown Funk', where all his groomsmen had a moment dancing down the aisle, and then eventually my husband came down, in time for the famous Bruno routine from the video; the boys all learnt the dance the night before and nailed it. Of course, I didn't see it, until after the wedding from his Aunty who had video it all, it was so hilarious! Everyone LOVED it, and was in fits of laughter and joining in with the dancing.

Overall, we had fun creating our music to suit our personalities and love. We found Spotify and Pinterest to be of great help. There were so many lists of songs that everyone has heard of before at weddings, I do recommend, using the Browse button on Spotify, which then leads you to new talent, and it recognises the music you like and links you to similar artists, easy isn't it! Takes time to find those perfect songs but its worth it for an amazing day that you'll remember forever.


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