I read an blog recently which literally made me think of all the reasons why I use social media and why I post the things I post. It showed four photos of a couple, smiling and posing, at different times. To me, they seemed happy and living their lives to the fullest, however under each photo the lady described what exactly happened previous to the photo being taken.
Now what I was shocked by, was that this was all too familiar, let me explain. So the comments she had made were "you don't know this, but before this photo was taken, my husband and I had a huge argument in the car all the way to the restaurant, and now we are posing for this photo to show everyone it's our wedding anniversary, no one knew we just were fighting, and of course we hash tagged it up, with something like #blessed". All the comments identified something that struck me to think of all the times I had posted a photo on Facebook or Instagram to that had me doing a selfie or was with my husband, however previous to taking the photo I was having a horrible day, emotionally I was a wreck or I felt defeated, thats honesty right there guys.
On the day of my engagement, I was a living mess, it was the week before my period, and as I'm getting older, my emotions alongside this monthly blessing is getting harder and stronger to maintain. Overall I was a crying mess and needed to calm down. Now I had taken the day off with Josh and we were just having a day hanging out, and I didn't know I was about to say the big YES to him, not knowing the whole day he had the ring in his pocket... He stuck it out with me and found at the end of the day, he could ask me when I was in a better state, and after that I was all in excitement mode. And I was very happy to pose with my new fiancé and my new bling.
Bet you didn't expect to know all that previously, and that photos tell a huge lie of what people are really going through. This is where the danger of comparison can destroy you and your life.
The only reason why I can write about this is because, it is a continuos journey to overcome comparison and jealousy. This is something that hinders so many girls and women around the world today. Someone once told me that Comparison is the theft of JOY. So true, the times when you could be enjoying other women company and building each other up, we instead are tearing down, ignoring each other and commenting in conniving in different ways.
Something I've come to understand as a newly wed, is that having harmony and true joy in your life, it requires sacrifice, intentional kind words and actions, and also patience. I guess I had a lot of advice before I got married, but a lot of the things you have to learn along the way. In learning these things, it's made me realise that this same way of living is needed for people in my life, whether its people I know or just met. People require grace and they deserve kindness overall, I guess this blog post is an overall thought that I've had, that looks at comparison, social media and how we live our lives.
To give out, we must first know we are loved, that we have hope and that we can make a difference, I full heartedly know that without knowing those things for myself, how the heck can I give love, grace and compassion out to those who need, when I can't even love myself. Its not a battle between who I love first, myself or others, its a balance knowing to receive I must give, vice versa.